I simply *can't* do a lot of things.
But my life right now doesn't allow "can't."
So I have to do the things anyway, even though I CAN'T do them. This contradiction is as painful as it sounds.
It feels like I am my corpse running on the energy I stole from my would-be future self, a ghost cheating physics and metaphysics by somehow still piloting this shell far longer than I should have gotten away with.
Can't isn't an option. Even though can isn't an option either.
I hope better than this for others.