Thursday, January 23, 2014

What I saw



I left the gym, I had to, because the music made me uncomfortable. I stood by the door. 

I waited. I turned toward the door to the gym, and I saw a classmate burst through the door, an aide inches behind him. The aide grabbed a strap on his vest and stopped him cold. The student struggled. Aides thronged at the little windows.

I know what they saw. 


They didn't see someone asking to be taken for a walk. They didn't see him begging to have some space. 

They saw an escape attempt. A noncompliant escape attempt. A student trying to outsmart the teachers, to get his way. 

They saw someone who didn't understand the point of P.E.

They saw a runner.


He pulled away, and the aide pushed him back  through the gym door, shouting "In we go! In we go! In we go," his hands pulling and pushing as the student dug his heels in. Everyone else "encouraged" from the sidelines. I saw too much happening.

I saw an apraxic struggle. I saw a nonverbal student being pushed through a door in a frenzy of movement, everyone shouting at the same time, bent over with hands thrusting at his back, pushing against the doorframe and struggling to stay upright. I saw too much, too much.

I saw a blur of movement and sounds coming at me from every direction, I saw the ceiling the doorframe the floor somebody's hands everyone shouting. I saw the final thrust through the door, met with bright lights and cheering, everyone applauding the nice save! 

I saw dizzy and disoriented. 

I saw what he saw.


I saw a classmate who couldn't respond to prompts because they were coming too fast, and who couldn't comply because everything was being thrown at him at once.

He slumped against the gym wall and slammed his head back. The act was met with a sharp reprimand from a bystanding aide. And I know what they saw.

They saw defiance. Headbanging behavior. A tantrum.

I saw a student trying to block out external input. I saw. Everyone else gawked and chattered as the other kids did the warm-ups. I stood by helplessly.

I saw a humiliated man sitting against a wall in a corner, helpless and outnumbered, with no way to communicate.

 I saw what he saw, the flash of students flying all around me and I saw people surrounding me, cheering, cheering for the aide as though it was some big victory to drag a student back into a classroom. I saw the world whirling around my head and it hitting the wall just to drown out the noise. 

I saw that nobody was asking themselves how he might feel. I didn't just see the defeat, though, the lack of dignity or respect; I saw humiliation. Oh, yes, I saw. Pain.

I watched in horror. I felt for him. I felt with him. An aide, concerned that I had left, asked me if I was ok. Then she smiled at me knowingly. Chuckled, "He's having a little fit."

No. That's not what I saw.

I saw an overwhelmed student trying to escape a hostile environment. An attempt to find a safe place, or a bathroom, or some water. 

I saw a hasty and disjointed "rescue" that fried his emotions and ability to think. I saw visual, auditory, vestibular and tactile input slam him like a truck. I saw vestibular upheaval, and I saw desperation and fear and frustration because nobody understood, not one of them. 

They saw a fit. 

They didn't see what I saw.

*****


I know, I mouthed across the aisle. It's ok. I know. He smiled back at me.

I know. 

The bus engine rumbled, and we began to pull out of the lot. They were still talking about him, imputing motives based on their own experience. I knew that he could hear them. That they didn't really care. That it wasn't my place to correct them. To try and educate them. Not the student's place.

 I saw the look on his face, and I knew that nobody understood. 

He sat alone, leaning against the vinyl of his seat, his expression fraught with distress, his eyebrows knit. I knew that they were fine, and they could sit there and casually theorize about it, but that he was still coming down. I saw the look in his eyes. I didn't know what to say. 

I saw his hand, resting on the seat. Hesitating, I leaned into the aisle and placed mine next to it. I didn't know how else to say I support you.

His thumb wrapped itself around two of my fingers, and for a moment it was like that. Then he lifted his hand and took mine in it.

I squeezed. I know.

We stayed that way for about a minute. The bus rumbled down the street, curving around the corners, my hand in his. 

They said I helped calm him down. Sometimes people underestimate what it means to acknowledge someone's humanity. To see it. I don't know what they thought my gesture was, but we knew what it was. A show of solidarity. A quiet one, not a trumpeting fanfare, but a whisper. I know.



This is what I saw. Very different from what the teachers saw.

I don’t know exactly what he saw. I believe that it was terrifying.




But I hope . . . I hope . . . that after the terror . . . I hope that he saw a friend.







Kitt

117 comments:

  1. Wow, what an amazing post. This knocked me to my core. It gave me a view of my son and his world from his point of view that he is unable to share with me because he is mostly non verbal. Thank you Kitt. My heart aches. I wish my boy had a friend like you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thank you. We need more heroes like you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. What a great post. Thank you for really seeing.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very well written. Is there a trusted teacher or someone you could share this with?

    ReplyDelete
  5. After reading the other article you posted, I think he must have felt jet-lagged and hungover, in addition to all the other trauma. I hope you can share this article with someone at the school, to help them understand. Thank you for holding his hand. I would have, too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I see Abuse covered by 'reasonable force', it is wrong i hope u reported them?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Please, Britt. As a teacher and a mom of an autistic boy, I beg you to show this to someone at the school. You understand what they don't. They were concerned only with what they perceived as a runner (and in light of recent tragic events, I can understand that) but you know the "why" behind all of this. Everyone can benefit from your wisdom.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Britt, you are wise beyond your years. You are a good person, a kind soul, and a wonderful friend in a cruel, misguided, chaotic world. Your words breathe beauty, and more importantly, TRUTH. I am sharing this post, in the hopes it touches people as it touched me. I am a mother and hope my girls will become a person like you as they grow. And I agree with Mel above, show this to someone at the school. Send it to the Superintendent. Read it at a School Committee meeting. You get it. Help others, guide others, teach others. Show them. They don't know. But you know. You understand.

      Delete
  8. This is amazing. Tears rolling down my face. Thank you. Sharing, sharing, sharing...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow! Thank you for painting this picture. Thank you for being his friend.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Crying. Sharing this everywhere so others can know, too.

    ReplyDelete
  11. All people who work with the disabled need to read this. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. More like "hyper-enabled" than "disabled"

      Delete
  12. This is so powerful.
    "...Sometimes people underestimate what it means to acknowledge someone's humanity. To see it"
    .Thank you so much for opening our eyes and hearts 'to see'.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thank-you for helping me understand both my sons even better.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Extraordinary. You, my dear, have brought me to tears. Many, many thanks. I have a physical disability (CP, to be precise.) and I often felt as if the aides who worked with me and my friends who were autistic only saw what they wanted to see, they saw with their eyes, but not with their hearts. They don't understand the struggles as we do.

    My favorite line from this that really hit me was, "...Sometimes people underestimate what it means to acknowledge someone's humanity. To see it" You hit the nail on the head with that line. Once again, many thanks to you and thank you for reminding me to "see" with my heart as well as my eyes. :) *Big hug*

    God Bless you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thank you so much Kitt for being there. You were his guardian angel. If ONLY the aides, teachers/people involved TOOK the time to realize the signs... they might've seen his cries for help! My heart aches as I can only empathize w/ him... my son is also non-verbal and though I can't fight every fight... I hope that others are able to help as you did :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thankyou for writing this. Just Thankyou.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Excellent use of language to pant a picture - a moving picture ('moving', in more than one way) - of the events at that time. Excellent development and presentation of the attributional differences between you and certain others. A very difficult ex-girlfriend of mine accused me of being a 'single-minded behaviourist', because I place a lot of emphasis on looking at what people do and the contexts in which they do it. The reason I'm like that is because a lot of my own behaviour has been subjected to misattributions: that lovely old fundamental attribution error rearing its head all the time.

    Excellent that you did what you did. And good that they realised that you had in fact helped him to calm down. But why on earth did they not realise - after that - that it was their behaviours in that context that messed him up in the first place? *facepalm*

    And the 'professionals' love to say how those of us with Asperger-autism diagnoses 'lack the ability to empathise'.

    Hmmm.... they project much?

    The school is lucky to have you there, if they would but see that.

    ReplyDelete
  18. As a mom I'm saying thank you. This sounds like my son's life. We are just coming to a change of thinking on how we treat him. It makes all of the difference in the world but is also frustrating when others lag behind with this very important knowledge. Thank you for restoring his dignity as a person. That is so important!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Kitt, you are a gifted writer and a true friend. I predict great things for your future..

    ReplyDelete
  20. thank you thank you thank you. and my 5 year old says thank you, also.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I wish my son had had a friend like you when he was in school, it would have made it so much better for him. He wasn't diagnosed untill he was 12, and by then he had lived that scene way too many times.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Amazing and very moving. Thank you for sharing your insight and helping people understand better. As a parent I'm talking so much from this.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thank you for this insightful essay. I am hopeful that testimonials such as this will help caregivers and people with ASD. There is much work to be done in the education and research of ASD. Information like this will help others to understand and alleviate some fears.

    ReplyDelete
  24. As a Mom and a writer,I was tranfixed by your compelling tale.It was horrendous.Now I understand so much more.Thank you for that.

    ReplyDelete
  25. You just took my breath away. Not only are you an amazing person that is a gift to this world you are an eloquent storyteller. Your story will help to change the way people look at this unfortunately very common scenario. Thank you for being you. One person can change the world for someone.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh how I wish more people had your insight and compassion. Bless you and thank you on behalf of my son.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This blog post...this changed things for me. Thank you so much. It inspired me to write a post of my own, and to better understand my daughter. Forever grateful....

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thank you for this. It's heartwrenching and beautiful and most of all, it's truth. I shared it on my blog's Facebook page. I hope you'll come see the comments there, see the impact that your words are making. Thank you.

    https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=10152180274349419&id=310066991936

    Jess, Diary of a Mom

    ReplyDelete
  29. Thank you so very much for sharing. While it is heartbreaking to read, the more people will read this article, the less these awful things will happen.

    ReplyDelete
  30. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Let me echo the earlier comments with simply "wow" and follow it up with thank you. I shared it too. The child you described could have easily have been my son.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Thank you for sharing what you saw. I will remember that as I help my autistic son. Awesome post.

    ReplyDelete
  33. As a grandmother of the sweetest little boy who is autistic, I thank you for posting this very insightful missive. My little guy is also non-verbal, but he definitely gives clues as to what he wants. It's the caregivers, especially those who don't work with him on a 24 / 7 basis, who are responsible for learning these clues of communication. Yes, he must be kept safe at all times, but to him, loud crowded places don't seem safe. The educational system is in a place now where individualized instruction in the classroom is the norm. That is how it should also be with children with disabilities. And the people put in place to help and educate these children should also be educated, along with the fellow students and their parents. I thank you again for writing this and hope that millions of people have a chance to read it too. And I agree with others who have responded to you that every teacher and teacher's aid should be given the opportunity to read this as well. We need schools where ALL students feel happy and safe in their environments.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Although I have dealt with my two younger grandchildren -both are autistic -and have seen too how my grandson's TSS frequently handled him (very caring, very calming for him) this was still very much an eye-opener piece for me. I will keep this in mind each time my grandkids have a behavior episode to try to look beyond what is seen by me and what could be seen and experienced by the child. Excellent piece!

    ReplyDelete
  35. crying.... parents of kids with autism must work to educate schools about how these children see the world so the time at school is not terrifying but supportive. THank you for writing this.

    ReplyDelete
  36. thank you for sharing this experience . I have a 4 year old autistic son and this helped to try to be more understanding to his tantrums as everyone else calls them or melt downs i hope when he is in school he will have a friend like you.

    ReplyDelete
  37. You are an amazing friend and so is he. Sometimes it's the quiet truth that makes all of the difference. I stand with you...

    ReplyDelete
  38. Thanks for writing this, Kitt. All the love, Ib

    ReplyDelete
  39. Thank you for being his voice....and my son's voice. What a gift you have been to me, to help me to "see" more clearly what my son can't tell me. Again....thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Thank you so much for this..as a mom of a son who "bolts", it is helpful to see what his perspective might be. I am, of course always concerned about his safety, but it's so important to also remember his feelings and try to accommodate him in some way at the same time.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Kitt, you sparkle and shine! Thank you for being so completely amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  42. You are amazing! I am so glad you were there for him.

    ReplyDelete
  43. This is horrible & beautiful all at the same time. Your understanding, insight and amazing ability express those thoughts and feelings in words on the screen shook my soul. Thank you. I have shared, shared, and shared again.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Thank you for your post. I have been in the same position.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Thank you for your amazing post. And thank you for letting the other student know that you understand what he was going through. We all need brave people to be there for us.

    ReplyDelete
  46. thank you for letting us experience this so vividly through your words.

    while we do not specifically have autism (that we know of) in our family my son and i both struggle with anxiety, sensitivity and overstimulation so it hit home in that way.

    your words painted a heartbreaking and yet touching story. i hope this post goes viral to inspire more understanding and compassion.

    blessings,
    liv

    ReplyDelete
  47. wow, very moving, my son could have been the little boy in your story, unfortunately he did not have you to help him through. Eventually we did find a very compassionate school with gifted, loving, sightful people to help him. He is now in university and coping well with life.
    Hopefully your tale will help many other children.

    God bless you and keep writing it is helping more than you will ever know.

    ReplyDelete
  48. As a teacher I enjoyed reading this. Being caught between legal issues and humanity is a hard place to be also, but we all do the best we can. I look back and wonder how many situations I could have handled better, but through your eyes hopefully I can always handle these kinds of situations with more grace. Thank you for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  49. I was very moved by this. I would love to share it on my blog if that is ok with you.

    ReplyDelete
  50. You are a voice for the voiceless Kitt. I hope your post makes everyone stop and think about more about the other person and not just "their" agenda/rules. Thank you so much for being you.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Excellent post. So glad you could share this. As a father of two autistic sons this is the advice i need and will definitely share this with others maybe some day even print it out so i can take it to an iep. My seven year old struggles finding his way at school and though he has made strides and is in a traditional classroom is hard. And my two year old is nonverbal and my wife and i are so scared at what life will be like for him in school. I pray that my kids will meet people such as you, that even though it will be hard there will be those there that can help them. I know that even that small gesture of placing your hand next to his was the miracle he needed. And i know that our gracious heavenly father put you there for a reason. Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  52. Thank you, bless you. As the mother of a 19 year old with Autism it is so helpful to hear from those who can speak about the world that I struggle to understand. My son is verbally limited and does not tell me when something is causing him pain or anxiety. He explodes before I can figure it out. I am trying to read his cues and your post has given me some insight. Thank you so much.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Powerful. Beautiful Dead on.

    My son lived this too. Thanks for sharing.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Dearest Kitt ~Your voice is what we who call ourselves civilized need to hear. Thank you for sharing your insights into an otherwise unknown world. I'm not only following your blog now, but will share your posts so others may see through your eyes as well. You are an amazing young lady of great intelligence, valor, and a protector of the misunderstood. THANK YOU! Keep sharing your truth! Joyfully His, Shannon

    ReplyDelete
  55. a simple act of kindness can change the outcome of someone's day

    ReplyDelete
  56. Thank you. Even tho this made me cry I am so glad I read it.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Wonderful sharp focus, very powerful.

    ReplyDelete
  58. People are so effing stupid and intolerant and just not nice. I suspect my son has always had MILD Asperger's. He had fits in stores when he was little and people were so mean it traumatized me and kept me from going back to stores for the longest time. I'm going to write a post about this on Bubblews and link back to your post. Thanks for writing it.

    ReplyDelete
  59. MORE!!! WRITE MORE!! Your writing is so Powerful! Educating all of us so easily with your words! Please keep writing and opening everyone's eyes and hearts! I will be sharing your blog and your words with my friends and blogs! Keep more coming!!!

    ReplyDelete
  60. what an incredible post. So beautifully written and it has really made me think about looking at situations from another's perspective. Thank you for sharing this.

    ReplyDelete
  61. This describes everything I feel...

    ReplyDelete
  62. Amazing. We must advocate for those who can not.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Kitt,
    I saw, too many times I saw.
    It only got worse for my son at school, when I spoke about it.
    You do what feels right to you, about talking to the school.
    There needs to be a shift in thinking... towards humanity <3
    From a fellow "Kit"

    ReplyDelete
  64. I have worked as an aide at an elementary school. Let me tell you that it is terrifying to have a "runner." You know that you are responsible if anything should happen, and you care about the students you work with. I always tried to understand what was behind the "behaviors," though. The same things that caused this student to flee the gym were a work in the aides as they pushed him back to it. The difference is that they were able to express themselves with words and be understood by others. It's not that they don't want to be empathetic, but some people are disabled by a lack of understanding. You have a gift for empathy. You see what others don't. I'm so glad you wrote about what you saw. I hope you will show it to your teachers and the aides at your school. We are trained in deescalation tactics and holds to keep students and staff safe. Someone needs to teach people to see and understand. Then maybe those other things won't be needed. Maybe that someone will be you.

    ReplyDelete
  65. wow. how heartbreaking, yet heartwarming. you are an amazing person, and i am so very glad i followed this link to read this. i will be following you from now on. God bless you for helping me see through my Zack's eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Thank you. Pure and simple. To the point. Sensory overload, overlooked by many, understood by too few.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Thank you for sharing and further opening my eyes and helping me to open the eyes of the staff I work with at a private school for students with autism. Hopefully, you have helped us offer understanding, patience and more time when needed. I do want to add that we're (educators of students with autism) not always concerned about a student outsmarting us, but often of their safety if they get themselves outside for a 'walk' but are unable to return safely. We also come from a very caring place.
    Thank you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish there was a way to teach these feelings to other's. Unfortunately a person must just "know" them at a personal level. No amount of eye opening, or degree can really enlighten a person to this anguished state of mind. To a teacher it can only be a responsibility. You have a lot on your plate. There needs to be more staff members to make a difference. It's just the way it is. No one can change that.

      Delete
  68. This is a sad and even terrifying story. After homeschooling our daughter for a few years we thought that perhaps the "professionals" might help her better than we could and that she might need some "socialization". I pictured my daughter having fun learning and making many new friends. Instead quite the opposite was happening. My daughter suffered through many experiences much like the one you describe during her short time at school. She stopped eating and began having many more seizures than what was normal for her. This is why we brought her back to homeschooling forever! I must say though, that there was one young man in her class that did help her during a seizure. He knew what was happening when the teachers did not!

    ReplyDelete
  69. Anna Coles, perhaps *you* come from a caring place. Educators of special needs children usually do care. Aides, monitors and even teachers of "normal" children can be remarkably cruel. I have seen it first hand. In more than one school. And it makes me ill. And as I read this, I thought of my own son, who could have been "that boy"... and it breaks my heart that I could not always protect him. Kitt, thank you. Thank you for seeing and acknowledging. I would be honored to be your friend.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Kitt Thank YOU from my heart. I see into things the way you do, but have never so eloquently expressed it as you do.......I am so glad you are bringing your You ness into the world, you are a spectacular change agent......keep on writing and opening up peoples minds and hearts, so much love!

    ReplyDelete
  71. Replies
    1. :) I can tell you really know Ramon. I can tell by your response.

      Delete
  72. YES! I know. To tell them what you saw will only end in them telling you they are the professionals. But you know. I know you do. They are blind to reality and that ungodly frustration that can't be made into words. Even in words, they CAN'T know it. Unless you have experienced it you can't know it. It can't be taught.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Every time I read this, I cry. I only hope my non-verbal daughter, with sensory processing issues, has people as kind and knowing as you around her at all times in her life. There is a lot we can weather in life if we are just understood, or at least acknowledged. Thank you for writing this and sharing it with everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Wow. What pain witnessed of, and what understanding displayed, ……..

    ReplyDelete
  75. What an amazing account. What an amazing heart you have. I hope you continue to write what you see.

    ReplyDelete
  76. This speaks VOLUMES for autism advocacy! My 7 year old is non-verbal and I could see him in this story. I'm passing this along to his teachers and aides (they are nothing like the ones in this story, thankfully) and are extremely patient and try to understand from the student's point of view.

    You are awesome! Keep writing!

    ReplyDelete
  77. This is beautiful and painful and beautiful and should be on every door of every classroom and in every handbook. Thank you for this, I am sharing it with everyone I know.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Hi, Kitt, I would like to translate your post to take it to my kids school. I live in Chile and is soooo dificult to make people understand about different thinking. I hope you don´t mind and thanks for sharing. Your post was absolutely beautiful and powerful.

    ReplyDelete
  79. I feel like you wrote this about my son. Thank you so much for sharing it.

    ReplyDelete
  80. So powerful..Thank you for sharing..

    ReplyDelete
  81. This is amazing writing. What an absolute talent you possess to put all of this into such an emotive piece. I stand in awe.

    ReplyDelete
  82. You, my sweet girl, are an angel to the other children at your school. I wish you were in school with my 13 year old. He needs a friend like you. Thank you for all that you do for the other kids. You are AMAZING! ((Hugs))

    ReplyDelete
  83. Beautiful. Thank you so much for posting this.

    ReplyDelete
  84. I am filled with sorrow as I read this and then the anger filter through with so many memories of our dyspraxic son beimg treated in this way until we put a stop to it by removing him to a school where the teachers also "knew". As his dyspraxic mother I knew and I have done everything I can to ensure others also know. I could hug you for both your empathy and your willingness to speak up. I shall share this.

    ReplyDelete
  85. All I can do is echo all of the sentiments already expressed on this page. You are truly amazing. Thank you for sharing, for reminding us, for showing us, for understanding..and most of all...for seeing..

    ReplyDelete
  86. Wow, just wow! My heart aches for him. I wonder how often my daughter feels the way he felt...the way you felt. You were amazing and I'm sure you helped him feel less alone.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Thank you for sharing....Perception is everything. If everyone would just take the time to slow down and look at things through different lenses we would have more people like you....I only hope my son can have people like you in his life. You had tears streaming down my face and I felt everything like I was right there experiencing it myself.

    ReplyDelete
  88. Thank You Kitt ,you're a very smart and kind person. You seen this through your heart not your head. God Bless you always.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Thank you! Simply amazing how you put this into words.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Tearful appreciation. You're a gifted girl with a heart that sees and this is very powerful. I'm including it in my son's due process hearing, so they understand, if they can. Praying for this boy and you.

    ReplyDelete
  91. This is how I always felt when my mom would get frustrated and angry with my brother. I *knew* he could not comprehend her instructions, and I knew her expectations were beyond reasonable. Back then (this is 25 years ago), I had no where to turn. I didn't really know who would help me, or help him. So I would intervene. I would get between them. I would yell and scream at her when my brother couldn't.
    His miraculous improvement when moving into a group home extended his life, I'm certain.
    Years later, I have come to see both sides of it. Not just my brother's situation, but also my mother's. She was put in a circumstance that few understood, and she had very little support. And she had a daughter who would always fight her on everything. A son who was far from normal. Now I am a mother, and I cannot imagine *her* pain, *her* frustration....
    I believe because I had 2 people in my family with no voice, I have learned how to be a voice for others. Because they had so much trouble seeing each other (and me), I have learned how to see.

    ReplyDelete
  92. I absolutely love your blog!!! A friend of mine directed me to it not long ago and I think it's fantastic. I have a very small blog that was recently given a Leibster Award and I chose you as one of my nominees. I know your blog isn't small or "up and coming", it's already here, but I think it's so deserving of recognition. You, of course, don't have to do the whole "Leibster" thing, but I wanted to let you know :)
    http://saplingstories.blogspot.com/2014/02/leibster-awards.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow... Thank you! I wish I had seen this earlier. Can I still do it?

      Delete
  93. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  94. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  95. wow, I don't know what to say now, just wow

    Check dewalt sliding miter saw

    ReplyDelete
  96. Hi, this is Beautiful! my name is Allie and I'm a senior psychology major about to graduate in a couple months. I've been working as an ABA Therapist with a young boy with Autism and he is one of the most wonderful people I know (and he is only 4!!) I really want to work with young Autistic children (children with Autism- please let me know which one is preferred because I want to be respectful) because when I work with him, he comes running to the door when I get there, screaming my name and smiling. I do not stop him from stimming, except for when he's wiggling around so hard that he's about to fall off of something and hurt himself. I do not see the purpose in stopping the stim as it is merely a coping mechanism that helps. I wanted to become a BCBA and continue working with these wonderful children, mainly because I love the positive reinforcement aspect of it, and seeing a child be able to communicate with their parents and loved one and create new relationships in a way that still makes them happy, but I've heard a lot of Autistic adults state that it is abusive- some say it is not always abusive, others state that it always is abusive. All I want is to help teach these children communicate with the ones they love. I don't want to stop stimming- unless it is going to directly physically hurt someone-because I know that it can often be a form of communication. I don't want to use punishments, and I definitely don't want to become someone children will fear, because I see so much life in these children's eyes and I only want to make their world better. Am I doing the wrong thing by being an ABA therapist? I do have to do drills- always in Natural Environment Teaching- always following the child's lead and incorporating the goals the BCBA made for him. I question some- such as writing his name because he is only 4- but he's surprisingly good at writing for a 4 year old- Autistic or neuro typical! I give him a lot of breaks. He has about 17 hours of therapy a week. As someone who deals with anxiety-often social- and depression, I never want a child to Be uncomfortable or develop PTSD down the road. If you believe I will be doing the wrong thing by pursuing a BCBA/behavior analyst degree, what other routes do you think I could go and still work with such wonderful children?

    ReplyDelete
  97. Hi, this is Beautiful! my name is Allie and I'm a senior psychology major about to graduate in a couple months. I've been working as an ABA Therapist with a young boy with Autism and he is one of the most wonderful people I know (and he is only 4!!) I really want to work with young Autistic children (children with Autism- please let me know which one is preferred because I want to be respectful) because when I work with him, he comes running to the door when I get there, screaming my name and smiling. I do not stop him from stimming, except for when he's wiggling around so hard that he's about to fall off of something and hurt himself. I do not see the purpose in stopping the stim as it is merely a coping mechanism that helps. I wanted to become a BCBA and continue working with these wonderful children, mainly because I love the positive reinforcement aspect of it, and seeing a child be able to communicate with their parents and loved one and create new relationships in a way that still makes them happy, but I've heard a lot of Autistic adults state that it is abusive- some say it is not always abusive, others state that it always is abusive. All I want is to help teach these children communicate with the ones they love. I don't want to stop stimming- unless it is going to directly physically hurt someone-because I know that it can often be a form of communication. I don't want to use punishments, and I definitely don't want to become someone children will fear, because I see so much life in these children's eyes and I only want to make their world better. Am I doing the wrong thing by being an ABA therapist? I do have to do drills- always in Natural Environment Teaching- always following the child's lead and incorporating the goals the BCBA made for him. I question some- such as writing his name because he is only 4- but he's surprisingly good at writing for a 4 year old- Autistic or neuro typical! I give him a lot of breaks. He has about 17 hours of therapy a week. As someone who deals with anxiety-often social- and depression, I never want a child to Be uncomfortable or develop PTSD down the road. If you believe I will be doing the wrong thing by pursuing a BCBA/behavior analyst degree, what other routes do you think I could go and still work with such wonderful children?

    ReplyDelete
  98. Hi, this is Beautiful! my name is Allie and I'm a senior psychology major about to graduate in a couple months. I've been working as an ABA Therapist with a young boy with Autism and he is one of the most wonderful people I know (and he is only 4!!) I really want to work with young Autistic children (children with Autism- please let me know which one is preferred because I want to be respectful) because when I work with him, he comes running to the door when I get there, screaming my name and smiling. I do not stop him from stimming, except for when he's wiggling around so hard that he's about to fall off of something and hurt himself. I do not see the purpose in stopping the stim as it is merely a coping mechanism that helps. I wanted to become a BCBA and continue working with these wonderful children, mainly because I love the positive reinforcement aspect of it, and seeing a child be able to communicate with their parents and loved one and create new relationships in a way that still makes them happy, but I've heard a lot of Autistic adults state that it is abusive- some say it is not always abusive, others state that it always is abusive. All I want is to help teach these children communicate with the ones they love. I don't want to stop stimming- unless it is going to directly physically hurt someone-because I know that it can often be a form of communication. I don't want to use punishments, and I definitely don't want to become someone children will fear, because I see so much life in these children's eyes and I only want to make their world better. Am I doing the wrong thing by being an ABA therapist? I do have to do drills- always in Natural Environment Teaching- always following the child's lead and incorporating the goals the BCBA made for him. I question some- such as writing his name because he is only 4- but he's surprisingly good at writing for a 4 year old- Autistic or neuro typical! I give him a lot of breaks. He has about 17 hours of therapy a week. As someone who deals with anxiety-often social- and depression, I never want a child to Be uncomfortable or develop PTSD down the road. If you believe I will be doing the wrong thing by pursuing a BCBA/behavior analyst degree, what other routes do you think I could go and still work with such wonderful children?

    ReplyDelete
  99. Kitt. This is absolutely beautiful. YOU are absolutely beautiful. You have Jesus all over you and in you and through you my sweet, young friend. I'm Jo. A mom. One who loves - or thinks I do - to see through the eyes of Jesus. I believe you can see others, not just others with autism, through the eyes of Jesus. Because you can and because you care. Oh...and Jesus is also MY kind. and I LOVE cheesecake too.

    ReplyDelete